You Touch My Tralala
by Theodore is Rice
Summary: It's Eren's twenty-third birthday. A celebration is planned for him, with the help of Jean, the BRA squad, Connie, Sasha, Ymir, Historia, Armin, and Mikasa. What better song to play than the Ding Dong Song? What else would Mikasa do if she wasn't singing (in Spanish) about houses? What better way to pull off a performance than cracking up in the middle of the song? Find out here.
1. Mi Casa Es Su Casa

***hits blunt***

* * *

Eren followed the two-toned brunet into a back room of the club they were in. It was Eren's birthday, and, apparently, Jean and the others had rented the room and were planning something for him. The pair reached the center of the room and Jean stopped in his tracks. The door fell shut.

The green-eyed man, not sure of what to do, reached out to touch Jean's shoulder. He couldn't see very well due to the extremely low lighting, but it was enough to make out the shape of the taller one's body. As soon as Eren's hand made contact, though, Jean whirled around.

Four things happened in quick succession. Blue and purple spotlights, both fairly dim, focused on the two of them. Light bounced off of the floor and suffused the room with a dark glow. Next, he caught sight of Armin in the corner, watching them, a notebook tucked under his arm.

Third, some strange kind of pop music started playing. The fourth and final event - and, perhaps, the strangest one of all - was that Jean opened his mouth and started to sing.

" _Ooh… You touch my tralala."_

Eren stood, frozen in shock, his arm still extended slightly. Jean, ignoring Eren's discomfort, kept it up.

" _My ding ding dong..."_

A feminine _"Mmm!"_ followed after the words. Eren recognized the voice as Mikasa's, but he couldn't see her. His line of sight, however, was stolen by the people that started to enter the room.

Reiner, Annie, Connie, Bertolt, Sasha, Ymir, and Historia strutted in, bouncing with the rhythm of the song and singing a repetitive, _"La, la la la, la la la la la la."_ After about thirty seconds of dancing (when had Jean reached the other side of the room?), the two-toned man started to sing again, taking seductive steps toward a still-confused Eren.

" _Deep in the night… I'm looking for some fun… Deep in the night… I'm looking for some love…"_

Jean repeated these lines two or three times - Eren couldn't tell - and stopped short, letting Eren's other friends continue the song. Eren's eyes wandered back to Armin. The blond was furiously writing in his notebook, sometimes stealing glances up at Jean, who was edging away from Eren, and the green-eyed man himself, who was extremely lost.

However, it was clear that the group of people couldn't keep this performance up for long. Sasha and Connie had both been reduced to giggling messes and were currently on the floor. Reiner and Bertolt were both leaning against the wall, trying hard not to laugh. Ymir had tears in her eyes and so did Historia.

Annie was staring at the floor, an embarrassed flush on her face. _(When did I agree to do this? I should have stayed home…)_

And Mikasa was still nowhere to be seen.

Suddenly, the music cut off. Eren stood there in the center of the room, staring, bewildered, at the people surrounding him.

"What the fuck-" He didn't get to finish his sentence.

Mikasa slid into the room on both knees, a sombrero on her head and maracas in her hands. She lost momentum and stopped just short of Eren. The ravenette smiled, as if containing laughter, before throwing her hands up and shouting in a weird mixture of English and Spanish.

" _DON'T WORRY! MI CASA ES SU CASA!"_

Still, Eren stood there. His mind was only able to form one coherent thought: _What. The. Hell?_

* * *

 **I left Marco out of this one because - honestly - I can't imagine him doing this.**

 **Anyway, I'm 90% sure I was high while doing this. I drew the cover art. Thanks and goodbye.**

 **\- Theo**

 **ps reviews are life so please give me some even though this was trash lmao**


	2. What Was in the Journal?

**but what was armin writing in that journal?**

 ***hits another blunt* let's find out**

* * *

Eren opened the door to his room and flopped down onto the bed **(A/N: now i just see eren as a fish wth)** , sighing loudly. "Armin… Tell me again, why did you guys plan that crazy thing for me? I mean, it _was_ for my birthday, but why not a regular celebration? Seriously."

Armin shrugged. "One thing led to another, and that was planned."

The green-eyed man paused, remembering something. "By the way- I saw you writing in some notebook. What was that?"

The blond squeaked, an embarrassed blush creeping onto his face. "N-nothing! It was nothing!"

Eren raised an eyebrow. "Oh, really? Then why are you blushing so hard? You tried to deny it so quickly that I think there _is_ something going on. Let me see that journal."

The shorter of the two shook his head and cast an unconscious glance at the dresser, where a certain book lay. Eren, catching his gaze, lunged for the drawers.

"NO!" Armin jumped on top of Eren, effectively flattening him to the bed. However, the brunet was much stronger than the blond. Throwing Armin off easily, Eren snatched the book up. "NO! EREN! THAT'S FOR MIKASA AND SASHA AND ANNIE - AND YMIR AND HISTORIA-"

It was too late. Eren had flipped the notebook open and started reading. As his eyes scanned the page, they widened, almost impossibly so.

"Armin… What is this?"

The blue-eyed twenty-two-year-old's blush intensified. "I- I told you it was for Mikasa, Sasha, Annie, Ymir, and Historia."

"Wait, wait, what? Why would they want this? 'Jean gazed at Eren with half-lidded eyes as he leaned down to press his lips against the shorter man's mouth. The green-eyed one, caught by surprise, froze, but soon got over his shock and' - I can't go on." Eren sounded mentally scarred.

" _Why did you write a smutfic about Jean and me?"_

* * *

 **Yes, 'me' is correct.**

 **haha lmao i just picture armin as the type that would do it for the girls. idk anymore. i just really wanted to see an embarrassed armin.**

 **reviews?**


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